I have never had problems sleeping in my life, I can't recollect a time when I could not pass out. Yet as I lay down to sleep these nights my mind is tormented. I feel such rage I could break my bones, snapping each one of the fingers in my skeletally deformed hands on the oak head board in which I used to relish.
Anger has carried me beyond the point of compassion, burning the feeling like pine needles in a bonfire. I am angry because I am tired of trying to make things the way that I want them to be, and getting upset when they are not. I am abandoning what was and I am embracing the new. I made a posterboard of motivational exercise stuff, as I plan to temper my soul with pain. Maybe this time around I won't make such life altering mistakes.
"The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality." -- James A. Michener