Monday, March 19, 2007

The Mason

The never ending attempt to build a foundation upon which to prosper. My forward sentiments are looking choppy as unexpected things are coming my way.

My friend came into town over the weekend, he is doing very well for himself and his frugal nature is a shining example of that which I am easily capable and not doing. As the usual shit talking pursued between old childhood friends he made a great point in highlighting the fact of his financial prosperity, that which I cannot answer too. No denying at his current pillar in life, it is an accomplishment which stands on its own merit.

The roommate situation has reached gritty confrontation. Tears and screaming are a routine occurrence, along with uncomfortable guests, and secret sharing. In the past I would volunteer that my arrogance was the spring from which conflagrations flow yet the childish actions on the part of my aggressors merely reinforce the idea that I should live alone.

I saw Zodiac this weekend, rather long and horribly edited however solid acting and characterization.

I recently pondered a great contradiction in my current affairs, how I am full of knowledge on proper financial action yet I am not able to efficiently manage my own account. Not by lack of effort, but through an uncanny ability to discount. Saying 'fuck it' has led me in many areas of my life to great discord and unhappiness. The disparity of my capabilities and my realized actions has lead me to depression.

I have been told that a solid future is built with stones, not with shifting sands. I have realized that efforts to rectify my aims in focusing on secular aggrandizement rather than satisfactory performance in all areas is the key to my personal success.



Claire said...

i wish you luck in your endeavor. you seem to work hard do I have no doubt you'll find a good, new job.

Anonymous said...

"my arrogance was the spring from which conflagrations flow"

"secular aggrandizement"

Seriously?? No Seriously!! Just perhaps, it might serve you to concentrate on the journey rather than the destination. Many a mistake has been made racing toward the goal and ignoring the opportunities under your feet. Take a moment to realize that you have accomplished much on your own and you are building and storing the tools that you'll need in the future. You are your toughest critic as it should be.. but you should also be your biggest cheerleader. Just Saying...